What I’ve Learned From 10-mo Old Girls!

I nanny 10-month-old twin girls, Clare-Bear and Lu-Lu, four days a week (they’re a lot cuter then my drawing).  I experience a little big of heaven each day, well… most days. I learn a lot from these little people.  They keep me busy, chasing them around, while I chase my dreams here in Nashville, Tennessee.  I was thinking this afternoon as I enjoy the peaceful sound of ticking clocks (a.k.a. sleeping babies), just how much I’ve learned from them.

What I’ve Learned

1. Naps are very important to Productivity!
I give myself a hard time every time I take a nap because I feel like such a failure. Especially being self-employed and being my own music boss, I can always be doing something, so to take a nap is wasting valuable time. But sometimes I need a nap.  If I had a pacifier, I could probably use one of those too. If I don’t beat myself up for taking a nap, I can go back to my work feeling rejuvenated.

2. Falling down can be frustrating, a pain, and can hurt… scream a little, then get back up.
I watch these little peanuts fall down 15 times a day. They remind me that every stage in life has their challenges, that are very real to the person experiencing them.  The girls will get mad at the object that they think caused them to fall down, maybe let off some steam with a cry and then get back up and go about their business.

3. When someone tells you no, wait a little while then try again… and again… and again… coming from different angles if you have to.
Oh, the dreadful stairs. Clare is determined to get her little tushy up those stairs. I’ll tell her no, she’ll get mad at me and as soon as I turn my back she’s racing back towards them to attempt the climb. Sometimes I think she looks around for the most dangerous thing possible to play with, just to give me a heart attack. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s not about me. Hmmm…

4. Someone you love (even God) may tell you no and it may make you sooo mad, but forgive quickly and wholeheartedly.
(even if you don’t understand).
I’ll remove them from the object I don’t want them to have, and they’ll get mad at me and cry and sob and throw their heads back, sure that I’m the devil himself, and then… they forget… just like that, and we’re back to normal, hugging, singing, reading books and enjoying life.

5. Kiss and hug the ones you love lots of times during the day.
Sometimes, all you need is a hug!

6. You can find all types of treasures if you look for them, in the every day, ordinary stuff.
Babies don’t need expensive toys to play with, like us adults with the latest I-phones, cars and guitars, etc. They keep it simple, finding magic in flowers, ants and birds… even boxes and plastic containers.  They’re a lot more excited to find fuzz under the couch then I am!

7. Sometimes you will never get what you want… but try anyway.
Like the cat that runs away from you every time you chase it and scream in high pitch sounds at it… but try anyway… you never know, you may just wear him out!

8. Make silly faces and funny sounds if you see someone sad… it’ll make them laugh.
I don’t know how they know I’ve had a bad day, but they do.  And they make me laugh all the time. As one of my school workshop songs says, “Smiles are contagious! “

9. Belly laugh.
Music to my ears.

10. If you’re not hungry, don’t eat (what a novel idea!).
I’m going to try this one these days!

11. On the same token, when you’re hungry, the whole world can seem mean, cruel and out to get you.
Shane knows very well, if Bonnie Lee’s hungry, get her food. And I don’t know how it happens, but as soon as I eat, the sky suddenly turns brighter and people around me become nicer and I’m like superwoman; I can do anything!

12. Take baths and people will want to sniff you all day long.
Mmmmmm!

13. When you hear music, dance. With your whole body. Get into it.
I turn on music just to watch them dance. They’re fearless. As soon as they hear the beat, their knees start bouncing and their arms start swaying…
I wanna be more like them.

 

 

Free Download of New Song- "Aint Gonna Break Me"

Just finished recording one of my new songs, “Aint Gonna Break Me.”

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I wrote this song with my friends Alice Bargeron and Becky Monnier. It was inspired by me getting fired from my waitressing job this fall, for making too many mistakes. As my mom said, “It was another f’in growing experience!” So, I was having a particularly difficult day job searching, and I was feeling discouraged so I pulled out my guitar and came up with the idea for this song. Alice and Becky came over the next day and put their magic on it. And here it is! This is why I love co-writing cause you end up with a finished product that you never would have on your own.

Becky introduced us to Big Ed Moore from California who is the coolest guy ever!  I knew of him but didn’t know him personally.  He wanted to produce a song for Becky just cause he likes her. How lucky am I!?!  Honestly, this was my favorite recording experience to date. He jumped into this song like it was the only song on earth and he put his heart and soul into it!  He really believed in it, which made a difference in how I sang it.  He captured the feel we had hoped for and made it bigger then I think we ever intended.

I’m eternally grateful for the gift of writing cause it helps me in so many ways.  And then to be able to share it with others just blows my mind. Thanks guys for supporting and believing in me! <3

To download for free, go to www.reverbnation.com/BonnieLeePanda

 

 

Puttin’ My Big Girl Panties On and Dealin’ With It…

And I don’t mean granny panties!!!!   

Recently, I was remembering back to when I graduated from the University of Connecticut, and how lost I felt.  I received a Psychology bachelors, and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.  My brother, whom I adored and still do, was having the time of his life singing in his A Cappella group at UConn.  I, on the other hand, was living at home with my parents (love you Mom & Les ).  All my friends were still in college, I was working at a full-time job I hated, and I was convinced my ex-boyfriend was running around with cute little girls in sundresses. The jealousy bug crept in… I couldn’t be happy for my brother, even though I wanted to be.

After some reflection, I remembered that I was meant to sing and write music… though I wasn’t… so seeing someone else happy doing what I wanted to do hit a sore nerve.  I went downstairs to our computer and looked up singing teachers in New York City.  I found a guy who seemed pretty reputable, gave him a call and set up a lesson.  Like instant warm water washing over me, my jealousy was gone.  I was genuinely happy for my brother. Whenever my eyes are looking outward, watching everyone else but me, I always come up short.

I read an article this week by Bob Lefsetz (http://lefsetz.com/wordpress/) called “What it Takes To Make It.”  In it he compared the men and women training to be Navy Seals, to the people trying to “make it” in the music industry.  He talked about how the men and women who survived the Seal’s hell training were not always the ones you’d think… “The ones who seemed impossibly weak at the beginning- men who puked on runs and had trouble with pull-ups- made it. Some men who were skinny and short whose teeth chattered just looking at the ocean also made it.”  Why?  I’m sure every person had their own reasons, but it comes down to this… they didn’t give up. They were willing to put in the hard work. They saw a goal, their goal, and pushed through, little by little, not letting set-backs hold them down.

So, who makes it in the music business?  The people with the Navy Seal’s mindset.  Bob talked about how many of us want “success” overnight… yet we don’t want to put in the hard work to make it happen.  We want someone else to do the hard work for us.  Ouch… I found some truth in that statement and had to do some soul-searching again.  Had to put my “big girl panties on, and deal with it.”  While self-honesty is not always an easy pill to swallow, there is so much power in awareness… cause I can make changes when I see what needs to be changed.

First, I had to decide what “success” means to me. This was very important to me!  The world wants me to believe that the only way to “success” in the music business is to be on a major label on mainstream radio stations, touring my life away.  Yet, success to me is writing and recording songs for the rest of my life, being financially abundant doing what I love, and bringing happiness to others through my music.  That’s attainable to me, and I don’t need to depend on someone else to give me my “success.”

It’s hard to follow our dreams.   I’ve used these statements a lot, “I don’t know how,” or “I don’t know what to do.”  I’ll have a few hours of beautiful time to accomplish some stuff on my list, and all I want to do is take a nap. It’s overwhelming.  My songwriter friend gets up at 4 in the morning to write and play music before he goes to work at 6.  Yeah… I know… crazy!!  I think, “Oh my gosh, I wanna be that dedicated!”  I have trouble getting up at 7.  Yet, I can put that dedication to work in my own life.  I can stop waiting for someone else to swoop in and do it for me, and just do it, one small step at a time!

One of my mentors, Jimbeau Hinson, told me early on, “Bonnie Lee, be genuinely happy for your friends when they succeed. Don’t allow jealousy to creep in.”  He’s a brilliant man!  In these next few years, as I watch my friends get record deals and songs cut, I’m gonna be the loudest cheerleader in their corner, rooting them on, with my eyes on MY goals.  I’m blown away by gratitude at the awareness’s I’ve had recently!

 

One-Year Nashville Anniversary!

I had the honor of playing with two of my mentors (Jimbeau Hinson and Marc-Alan Barnette) last Friday night at the 2011 Tin Pan South event.  What an experience!  Allen Shervelle and I put our best foot forward and tried to keep up with the big boys.  Gotta say, I felt we held our own.  I did get a little nervous when I had to sing after Jimbeau’s song, “Fancy Free,” a 1981 No. 1 hit sung by the Oakridge Boys.  Yet, being rooted on by the audience and my friends on stage gave me a shot of adrenaline and I gave it my all.

I had just moved to Nashville last year during Tin Pan South, so this was an extra special time for me.  My One-Year Nashville Anniversary!  Can’t believe it was a year ago when Shanie said, “Why don’t you move to Nashville for the summer… it’s always been your dream, what do you got to lose?”  Neither of us knew at the time that I would fall in love with this beautiful town and the people in it.  So for today, here we are!

Here’s a little video of me singing “Twinkle, Twinkle” to my year-old nephew on my trip back to CT.  I miss my North East friends a ton… I’m planning a week long tour in CT this summer… so I’ll see you soon!!

www.myspace.com/jimbeauhinson
www.marcalanbarnette.com
www.allenshervellemusic.com

I'm Bonnie Lee, and I have a Laughing Problem!

Ever since junior high school, I’ve had a laughing problem. Obviously my teacher at the time did not have a laughing problem, cause she’d yell at me and say if you don’t stop laughing, you’re getting a detention! Well I bet you’re not surprised that I’ve had quite a few detentions in my time. And yes, I was the kid who saw the priest trip over his robe a little that started an uncontrollable laughing episode in the front pew. Ugh! The looks, the stares, like I had any control! If they saw him trip too, they’d be laughing their tushies off!

Anyone have this problem? Its like, “Oh no, I’m gonna get in so much trouble, hahaa, I need to stop laughing now, hahaha, if I bite my cheek a little maybe that’ll help, Hahahahah!” Yeah, that’s been my life. The dinner table with mom, sisters and younger brother R.J., mom saying “Stop laughing or you’re going to bed hungry!” She didn’t see what my brother was doing with the food in his mouth!  And once you start laughing… Well, she never let us starve but I was worried at times!

Well fast forward to now, I’ve gotten a ton better, grown up one might say, however I have my moments. Like at the Nashville Commodore Grill when I was singing the ‘Toothbrush Song’ and couldn’t get myself to sing, “little white pick with a piece of steak on the end of it” cause I was laughing too hard. How gross is that image!!  I’d like to say my co-writer/singing partner Allen Shervelle is the common denominator, cause we laugh at stupid things all the time.  For example, singing at the BBQ Beach Grill, Allen accidentally spit while singing (he had just had wisdom teeth removed and was still singing, talk about dedication) we started laughing and we were gone, no helping us. I tried to get the last line out but to no avail.

So, yes, my name is Bonnie Lee and I have a laughing problem. It could be worse!  Actually, I’ve learned to embrace my laughing problem.  And, come to think of it, I’m the common denominator!!! Bet you figured that out already!

Southern Snowman!

A Southern Snowman!

It’s true, we have to use leaves, sticks and dirt to make snowmen come alive here in Nashville, but no one can say he’s not Frosty!!  All he needs is a hat, carrot and buttons! I hope my Northeast friends are all safe and warm today… heard it’s gonna be in the 40s up there this week!  I won’t rub it in too much that we’re enjoying weather in the 60s.

So, what have I been up to for the past four months since I blogged?? Geese, sorry, it’s been so long.  I waitressed for the first time ever at Noshville Diner, got let go for making too many mistakes , was unemployed for 2 months, sucked it up and started waitressing again at Ruby Tuesdays, proved I’m a great waitress, and am now nannying for 4 month old twin girls.  I experience a little bit of heaven, 4 days a week.

Still blows my mind I get to live here in Nashville, co-writing and playing out.  I’ve written 40 songs since being here so far. Songs I’m really proud of and can’t wait to share with you. I started working on my goals for the upcoming year and am totally amazed!!  I don’t know about you, but when I write down where I wanna go and plan little by little how to get there, it becomes attainable.  I’m ready to start recording, just deciphering what studio.

Anywho, I promise to be in touch more on this incredible journey.  I’d LOVE to hear all about your journey as well!

www.BonnieLeePanda.com

Rock the Dress!

My special friend Jessica got free tickets to see the ACM Awards (American Country Music) a few days ago and she invited me.  How lucky am I!?!  Ten minutes before I was leaving, she called and said, “Oh no, I just found out it’s “Red Carpet Ware”.  Red carpet??  What in the world!?!  So I put on my black gown and pumps and headed to her place, to find out, “Ooops, it’s “Cocktail Ware.”  Riiiight!  I love that girl!!

But I remembered what my mama said, “No matter what you’re wearing, rock it! Hold your head up like you planned it that way.”  So, I rocked the gown, and had an awesome time!  Got to see/hear Kenny Rogers, LeAnn Womack, Keith Urban, and many, many more. Was like a history lesson of all the great writers and players in town.  Very cool!

Here’s a song Jessica, Allen and I wrote together… I’m having way too much fun up there!

When I’m in charge, I’m in trouble
[©2010 Panda, Solomon & Shervelle]

V1
Five years old my legs were swinging,
I don’t know what I was thinking,
Ready to flip off the monkey bars

If the big kids can then why can’t I?
Found out fast I couldn’t fly
Hit the ground ‘n saw Tweetie Bird and stars

Pre Chorus
I’ll be the first to let you know that, “Oh, I’m strong; I do it on my own”
But life goes smoother when I turn my cares over to the big man livin’ upstairs

CHORUS

Cause when I’m in charge I’m in trouble
I want what I want my hands are white knuckled
I think I know what’s best, till I make my life a mess
I need help on the double
When I’m in charge I’m in trouble

V2
After school, he’d pop wheelies
I was swoonin over bad boy Billy
His farmer’s tan hit me with Cupid’s bow

I thought we would settle down
He left me to be a show clown
In the famous Rangler Rodeo

Pre Chorus
I’d like to say it got better from there, with Johnny the drummer and the long brown hair
Put Sean to shame who drank too much, I never seem to know when enough is enough

CHORUS

BRIDGE
God is havin’ a laugh at me, I’m giving him a show for free

CHORUS

Bonnie Lee Planting Roots in Nashville

It’s true my friends, Shane and I just got our new apartment here in Nashville for at least a year.  I feel so drawn here and I can’t tell you how excited I am.  However, I will be making many trips back East to play and visit, we planned it in our budget, starting with Sober in the Sun in MA the first week of September!!  I’ll keep you informed!!

So far, I’ve only spilled two cups of coffee at my new waitressing job.  And it wasn’t on a customer either!  Not bad for never having waitressed before.  I waited on Vince Gill the other day. I didn’t recognize him because he had a hat on. He asked how I was doing and I said, “Good, I’m really enjoying these early mornings, who knew?”  He said, “Well, it must be the musician in us.”  I was like, ding ding ding… that’s Vince Gill!!  And he knows I’m a musician!!  (Who’s not a musician in Nashville… but still… How cool is that!?!) 

I wanted to share a new song I wrote a month and a half ago that has new meaning for me now that I’m a waitress. Its called, “Cindy Keeps em Smilin.“  I wrote it with my songwriter friend/mentor, Marc Allen Barnette.  You can also see me and my friend/co-writer Allen Shervelle losing our marbles in the 2nd video… once I get the giggles, I’m done!  Allen and I are having fun with a little duo we call “417″ (great page in a book we love about acceptance and gratitude).

www.BonnieLeePanda.com

CINDY KEEPS EM’ SMILING
[by Panda & MAB]

Cindy works the second shift at Lenny’s BBQ
Clocks in every day at 6:00, sometimes work’s till two
Flirting with the Regulars every table’s covered
Truckers to off duty cops, they all know each other

Her Boss Lenny say’s, “Come on, their standing in the aisles”
But they’re all here cause this is where they see Cindy smile

CHORUS
Smile on, Smile on
Even when it’s raining the sun still is shining
Cindy keeps em’ smiling

Two young guys sit on down in camouflage and boots
They’re only here a week, they say, “We’re just passin through,”
She knows where they’re headed, Cindy brings them drinks,
Says, “Boys, these are on me,” she smiles at them and winks

Even though there’s no time, she stops to talk a while
They feel good, all it took was Cindy’s endless smile

CHORUS

Bridge

Everybody wants to know how she could be so giving
But she remembers the reason when she touches that pink ribbon

CHORUS

The Art of Receiving

“Today, declare to the Universe that you are open to receiving all the abundance it’s waiting patiently to bestow. Each day offers us the opportunity to learn that as well as giving, it is blessed to receive with grace and a grateful heart.” — Sarah Ban Breathnach

I had an incredible growing experience this past week.  A fan of mine from Connecticut wrote me this amazingly beautiful letter about wanting to be able to help me in some way on my journey here in Nashville.  He has been a big supporter of my music since the beginning of my career, bringing his daughter to shows to see me play.  Along with his letter he gave me $1,000.00. Obviously, you can imagine my surprise!  I was speechless for two days about it.

It’s amazing to me when I get the opportunity to watch my life unfold in such a beautiful way.  I was getting more and more fearful about not being able to find a job here, and trying to trust that God didn’t bring me here to drop me on my tushy… that’s when I received his letter and check.  I can’t tell you how perfect timing this is.

It was an interesting growing experience for me, because feelings came up of not being worthy to receive it.  My good friend Dawn reminded me that it is just as important to receive gifts as it is to give them.  When I can humbly receive such a thoughtful gift, I say to the world that I can accept good things, as well as give good things.

I took off on this journey a few months ago and opened my world up so that my friends/fans could come along with me… it was fun to tell people about what I’ve been doing here as well as to have the company along my adventure.  I had no idea I would have the absolute time of my life… and to think I wanted to skip over the actual “going” part cause of fear.

I am just in awe of how y’all have supported me throughout the years, by believing in me, coming to my shows, sending me encouraging emails… just being my friend… all of it has made me who I am and given me the courage to come here.  Thank you.

Love, Bonnie Lee

www.BonnieLeePanda.com

Learn Hula-Hooping from the Master!

So, Shanie finally made it to Nashville!

He stole my side of the bed, and my spot at the desk… but I wouldn’t have it any other way!
And isn’t he sweet, he secretly videotaped me hula-hooping!  He wants everyone to learn from the master!